Bi Guys Reveal When They First Realized They Weren’t Straight
When I was first discovering my sexuality, it was natural for me to find myself telling people I was bisexual instead of purely gay. It was my impression that if they thought there was a possibility that I could end up with a woman, then maybe they wouldn’t think I was THAT strange and leave me alone. Eventually after being offered a handjob by a girl dressed like a microwave at a Halloween party, I realized I wasn’t bisexual, I was totally into women.
I know my experience is singular, and that sexuality is a spectrum. While there is still a large amount of biphobia within and beyond the LGBT community, the reality is that men are able to be attracted to men and women and not have to “choose.” For some people, they’ve born into this earth understanding that they may not fall under the heteronormative sexualities society has told them they need to prescribe to. For others, it is a journey with poignant moments of clarity. I wanted to find out what these poignant moments could be, so I asked 10 bi men about the first time they realized they weren’t completely straight.
“I think the first time I realized I wasn’t straight is when I was hooking up with a girl with my buddy hooking up with a girl next to us. Basically I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him and couldn’t focus on the gorgeous girl in front of me.” – Michael, 29
“Definitely the first time was when I started having my own laptop. It allowed me to explore different types of porn and I kept finding myself coming back to the gay porn. I felt ashamed at first, but it was way hotter than straight porn even though I was into dating girls.” – Alexander, 23
“I think the first time I knew I wasn’t straight was when I was in 9th grade and my friends dared me to kiss another one of our friends and it felt amazing. It was the tingling that I always heard about.” – Michael, 25
“Definitely the first time I knew something was up was when I was hooking up with my high school girlfriend and I couldn’t get it up. At first I thought maybe it was the pressure of the situation, but as soon as I got home and watched porn I realized that wasn’t the problem” – Paul, 27
“Um, I think the first time I got my dick sucked by another guy? Afterwards I thought ‘that wasn’t so bad.’” – Harry, 28
“In middle school my two best friends were girls and one of them had a pool. After we went swimming one summer day they decided to show me their boobs if I agreed to show them my dick. It wasn’t sexual, just purely curiosity, but I remember not being that impressed even though a lot of my guy friends at school were so jealous that it happened” – Matt, 23
“I think after I had my first threeway with a buddy and a girl. We sort of got to touch each other while it was happening and we both agreed we enjoyed it. From there the two of us were sex buddies for a while.” – Christopher, 28
“The first time I realized I wasn’t straight was after being married for a few years I started to realize this was going to be the only WOMAN I would ever be able to have sex with. We started bringing in other guys and it was extremely satisfying so we just kept going.” – Mo, 32
“Man I knew I wasn’t straight the first time I saw another guy’s penis in the locker room. I remember being so fascinated by it and wanting to compare mine to it that something was different. All the other guys seemed so unbothered by other guys being naked around them!” – Josh, 27
“For me the first time I knew I wasn’t totally straight was when I would always want to play the Pink Power Ranger whenever my friends and I would play Power Rangers during recess. It wasn’t that I wanted to be her but I related to being the damsel and wanting to be saved by someone else. It was then that I realized there was something that drew me to masculinity.” – Colin, 26