What is an orgasm?
If you want to learn to achieve orgasm, it makes sense to first read our lyrics on how sexual arousal works in women , what an orgasm is and why you can not (always) achieve it .
Many roads lead to Rome
There are many ways you can get sexually excited: friction , pressure , vibration , exercise , muscle play, fantasies, images, etc. The whole female sex and many parts of the rest of the body are excitable. So not only the clit head and the G-spot! That’s why there is not the one right touch at the right point to reach an orgasm. Depending on whether you are aroused by the external sex or the vagina or both, you will probably experience orgasms differently, If you are particularly interested in the excitement in the vagina, please also read this text .
From orgasm MUST to enjoyment
Maybe you know that: You’ve already tried to reach orgasm x times, and that was increasingly frustrating because it just did not work out. The orgasm was so orgasm MUST – something that must happen to make the sex work. The problem here is that the sex with such thoughts is not particularly enjoyed. Here, enjoyment is a very important ingredient to orgasm: sexual arousal + pleasure => orgasm. Look again at these curvesit is clearly shown. There is a saying, “The way is the goal,” and that’s the direction of orgasm as well: when you focus on what you feel in sexual arousal, rather than constantly thinking, “When will he / Will I come?” and experience, and how pleasant that feels, then you fill it with so to speak, the pleasure pot more and more. In other words, the pleasure curve increases.
Game with movement
This text describes what happens when you tighten your muscles during sex. We recommend to all women who want to learn to have an orgasm that they get used to moving their pelvis during sex : The pelvic swing is an excellent way to increase sexual arousal – it is the best way to orgasm during vaginal intercourse get. Movement in general supports the pleasurable experience of sexual arousal . Even if you stimulate your outer sex, you will experience it more intensively when you move your pelvis. You will find exercises in this text- we highly recommend these exercises. Also, playing with the pelvic floor muscles promotes sexual arousal and blood circulation. Exercises are described in this text .
In order for the orgasm to be experienced more intensively, it is advantageous if the sexual arousal can also spread through the body. In addition you can occasionally circle eg with the pelvis or make the shape of an eight. Imagine that you were a plant in the water – and let yourself be moved by the water. With the flowing movements, the excitement flows through the whole body – especially if you also breathe deeply with your stomach .
Open mouth and voice
Good for more intuition and enjoyment is when you have your mouth open during sexual arousal (at least one finger wide). It is also good if you make a sound while exhaling, eg an “Aaah”.
The last piece to orgasm
Maybe you find it quite easy to increase the sexual arousal to a certain point. But somehow the last piece in the excitation curve is still missing . Achieving the point where the orgasmic reflex is triggered requires more intensity. This may mean, for example, that the touch becomes stronger and faster, the muscle tension increases, the muscles “pump” more, the rocking movement becomes faster, bigger and stronger, the breathing becomes more intense, the fantasies become more intense, and so on.
Let go of practicing
An orgasm is a discharge of physical sexual arousal along with a discharge on the emotional level. On a physical level, the orgasmic reflex is triggered. You experience it all the more intensively the better you can let go “up” – in the chest, shoulders, neck, neck, head. To let go is to be learned, and you learn well when you pretend to. Because you can not do anything but let go through the movements and the sounds you make. Do you know the movie “Harry and Sally”? Maybe you want to watch the movie? There is a scene where Sally plays an orgasm in the restaurant. You can also play such an orgasm for yourself – as often as possible, then it does not feel funny to you over time.
We recommend that you also try and practice alone. When you are alone, you can concentrate on yourself undisturbed. Allow yourself to exaggerate while you’re getting on your own – all the movements, the breathing, the sounds. You are alone, and nobody sees and hears you. If your walls are thin and that bothers you, just let music run. When you exaggerate, your body learns better, and you reduce any inhibitions. This is especially important if you also want to have an orgasm with a partner or a partner.
If you can look at yourself in masturbation, you also prefer to show someone else in sex and be more relaxed when he or she sees you while you are sexually aroused or have an orgasm. One of the exercises is that you get upset in front of the mirror and observe how you experience sexual pleasure. You can also exaggerate the game a bit. If you find that weird, you could first hang a red cloth over the lamp to dampen it.
Practice, practice, practice
It is not enough if you try out what we are describing here. That would be like sitting down to a piano and trying to play. This will not teach you to play the piano. That’s the same with sexual learning . We recommend that you practice for half an hour at least 3 times a week. And do not expect a great result tomorrow … because:
The route is the goal
Do not put yourself under pressure – pressure is anything but exciting! Make it your goal to enjoy what you experience. Enjoyment is the way to orgasm. If you want to hurry to orgasm like on a highway in no time, you miss all kinds of beautiful things on the way. It would be exactly these travel experiences that provide you the food for orgasm. So the secret of orgasm is not in the orgasm itself, but in the way you create and enjoy the sexual arousal, and how you use your body: what you do, feel, and experience in sexual arousal is provided by the ingredients for orgasm.