How important is the penis size for the woman? From Wenke Husmann
ZEITmagazin Online: What does a woman think during her?Orgasm ?
Ulrich Clement: There’s nothing she could not think about – from “the most wonderful experience of my life” to “hopefully it’s over soon”.
ZEITmagazin Online: Can she actually think at her own peak?
Clement: Oh yes. An orgasm is not always the grandiose whole body vibration. There is also the puny orgasm, which is physiologically and purely functional, but leaves only a banal feeling. The orgasm remains as it were on the genital periphery. It lacks the emotion. Whereby this concerns the experience and not the thinking. The woman can think about everything. Even to the grocery list.
ZEITmagazin Online: Thinking and female orgasm are not separated?
Clement: Even if the rumor goes around that you do not think about anything at orgasm anymore, but only feel it, that’s not the case. The thoughts are behind the physical experience for at most the few seconds of the climax. However, it is also a nice moment when the pure body feeling comes to the fore.
ZEITmagazin Online: That’s the same with women?
Clement: Yes. But one has to say that in comparison to women men are more similar to each other in their orgasm patterns. Most have an orgasm during intercourse, very few have a multiple orgasm, which is extremely rare in men. Women have both extremes, and quite often. Many women have no orgasm during intercourse, not a few can have multiple. Therefore, it is more difficult than men to make statements that apply to all women.
ZEITmagazin Online: Well, after all, said 94 percent in a survey of 1,000 women between 18 and 85 on the subject of female orgasm that they do not depend on the size of the penis.
Clement: But that also means that six percent of the size is important.
ZEITmagazin Online: I just wanted to put the pressure out by citing the survey – men, do not go crazy, that’s not important.
Clement: It was rumored for a long time that penis size was unimportant. But that’s just as wrong in this absoluteness as it is when you say it’s totally important. There are women, for whom size is relevant, and that seems to be six percent. These women are just as right as the 94 percent for whom this does not matter so much. Incidentally, the relevance of variables does not just spring from Western performance thinking. The Kamasutra distinguishes between different penis sizes – rabbit, bull, stallion – as well as vaginal sizes – elephant cow, mare, gazelle. And for every anatomical combination there are certain fits.
ZEITmagazin Online: In contrast, men in particular seem to be concerned with questions about the size, extent and nature of their genitals.
Clement: In fact, women’s own genital anatomy does not have the oversized meaning it has for men. Where among younger women, the appearance of about the labia is now playing a certain role.
ZEITmagazin Online: The professional association of German gynecologists sees many women at least concerns in terms of the appearance or size of her vagina.
Clement: But that’s new and I still think it’s a fad, triggered by the greater visibility due to intimate shaving. Especially men, which is known as Lost-Penis-Syndrome, are afraid of a too big vagina .
ZEITmagazin Online: Nevertheless, the small number of six percent of women who consider size to be relevant surprised me, precisely because the topic seems so present in male perception.
Clement: Well, surprisingly, it’s not surprising that for most women, the man attached to the penis is more important than the penis attached to the man.
ZEITmagazin Online: Which brings us to the 94 percent … Obviously on the way to female orgasm women are in for a lot more different. Let’s start with the smell. According to a study by the Berlin Charité, this is the most important thing for most women.
Clement: At first, smell is something physiological, but it also plays a great metaphorical role. How well can I smell the partner? How much does he come to me? The really crucial thing is the interaction. One can therefore say with certainty: If a woman does not like the smell of the man, he can forget everything else. However, the same applies: If the smell fits, everything is far from won.
ZEITmagazin Online: Shortly before the end of the year, the American website OMGyes went online – that means “Oh my god, yes!” and the team of scientists, designers, educators has set itself the goal of once and for all explaining to men and women how the female orgasm works – including exercises via app. Is there still a need today? Is there really a lack of technical knowledge?
Clement: You can take that as a defect. It is assumed that there is a need, because people can not do something well and now be informed thanks to this page. This is an old sex education, lack of interpretation. I would understand it differently, as a game. Sex is an option field where you can try different things – including things you do not always come to by yourself. Anyway, as a man, I have to break away from a purely mechanical approach and see if what I do matches the partner’s moment. There is not the ultimate petting angle that is always right. It depends on the woman and the situation. That’s a good thing, because otherwise there would be nothing more individual in the game, you could not explore anything and find out.
ZEITmagazin Online: At the same time, this reflects a website that you mentioned earlier: that there is more diversity among women experiencing an orgasm, and that the process is rather complex and broader in scope than among men.
Clement: The female orgasm is less predictable and works less linearly than the male, so to speak step by step: you take a step together towards him and then it either goes on or not. The woman always checks, so to speak, whether she says yes or, at some point, no – and then maybe on. This can make men crazy or even aggressive. If they say A, then they think B and then C. But the special thing about female eroticism is precisely this exact look or feel. It always depends on women. After A comes B, maybe not, but X.
ZEITmagazin Online: If the path to female orgasm is so tricky, then I ask you as a sex therapist now just for advice for your peers.
Clement: Quite difficult, indeed. For example, take the clitoris: Sensitive touch can basically lead to orgasm, however, wrong touch, or the right touch at the wrong time, bring any excitement to an immediate halt. Men can now turn their eyes and think: I can never do that! Or they see it as an interesting exploration tour where they can meet their partner, discover and realize that she is not always the way she is. Maybe today different from yesterday and different from tomorrow. Actually, this is a nice perspective if you do not always know how it works and how it will work the rest of the months or years that I will be with it.