How can you improve your sex life?

By Sara Taels, senior sexologist with Beate Uhse

Beate Uhse has a mission. We want you to improve, revive and, of course, explore your sex life! As a sexologist, I want to help you achieve your sexual goals. Today we want to share with you the 5 foundations for a satisfied and fulfilling sex and love life. There is only one condition: Read carefully.
Are you ready? First and foremost, remember: sex is like a verb and you can learn to change it and adapt it to your wishes and ideas! You can only improve your sex life if you are actively working on it. Here we go.

1. Sex begins with you!

You are sexual beings. Act accordingly and accept that there is nothing wrong with that!
You think that’s hard? Act as if until you finally make it! Playing a sexual being puts you in the position to become a sexual being as well.

  • Practice in front of your mirror. Admire yourself!
  • Wear, only for you alone, seductive underwear.
  • Start loving yourself by masturbating. Masturbation is not for lonely people but for self-confident people like yourself. Do you think that it is boring? Be creative! Masturbation is like food: sometimes you go to a restaurant for dinner, sometimes you feel like fast food and sometimes you just want to eat your sweet day. There is nothing wrong with that. This makes the sexual desire flare.

Sex is like fire. You alone decide whether the flame burns or goes out! Are you ready to kindle this fire?

2. Write your own sex stories!

Use your imagination and make up your own sex stories. Of course, like every author you have to get your inspiration. Go on a search and do not forget to enjoy them too!

Let your own fantasies run in your mind’s eye. Have fun!
Read an erotic book or poem. Or better yet, write one yourself!
Let yourself be inspired by (hard) erotic films . Get inspired by what you like and try it out in your relationship. Write the script according to your wishes and ideas and imagine that you are the main actor.
Sex is more than the pure act. It is a way of life and begins in your head. Are you ready?

3. Let’s talk about sex!

Talking about sex with your partner gives you security in terms of sexuality, builds trust and shows your mutual preferences. Sex talk can also be very exciting. Use this opportunity to move out of your comfort zone.

  • Introduce sex talk playfully in your relationship. The rules and the game flow are a good signpost. You can take a quiz like “Sexperte” or a challenging game for two like ” True Love “.
  • Once you are ready for more, start talking about your own fantasies and preferences.
  • You want more? Dirty Talk is the solution.

Sex Talk is the guide to good sex.

4. Planning “spontaneous” sex

As the duration of a relationship progresses, sex also changes: from (several times) every day to an almost celibate affair. Everyday life and daily routine are killer for the sexual life as soon as the butterflies have disappeared in the stomach and given way to a deeper affection.

  • Make room for intimacy in your appointment book.
  • Sex does not just happen. You have to learn to plan it and work towards it. Plant it in a subtle way, calling it Date Night, for example.
  • Do not put yourself under pressure. Whatever will happen is fine! Is it intense time or just sex? Ultimately, you work on a fulfilling sex life.

By creating intimacy, you are breaking barriers.
A fulfilling sex life is the result of spontaneous and planned intimacy.

5. The Art of Preparation

Spontaneous sex is not always possible, nor is improvisation. By preparing for your intimate moments, you can improve your experience. Should something go wrong, learn from it and it will work better next time!

  • Provides everything necessary. Also think of lubricants or massage oil .
  • Strengthen your self-confidence!
  • Striped in front of the mirror or organize a bodybuilding competition in front of it.
  • Do you want to try something new? Prepare for it and let it come true!

Preparing for intimacy is like foreplay. You get in the mood!
These are the 5 commandments for good sex. There is only one condition: no EXPRESS!
Since sex begins in the head, you must eliminate possible confounding factors. You can do that with a positive attitude and open-mindedness towards sex.
Count on the 5 most used excuses to avoid having sex, and delete them from your vocabulary!

Headache or stress? It has been scientifically proven that sex reduces these symptoms.
Hygiene? Take a shower or bath or use intimate toiletries . Or even better: shower together or take a stimulating bath together.
Do not feel like? Read the 5 Commandments.
Fire your desire by eliminating all excuses.
sara-326Enjoy working on your love and sex life!

Author Since: Jul 26, 2018