BDSM Life Style

The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens?

Your first scene with your Dominant is coming up and so far they’ve been pretty foggy as far as what will happen. You’ve never been involved in BDSM and/or power exchange. Usually, these people have some mutual kinks in mind that they want to experience. It’s about sensation, it’s about intimacy, pushing boundaries, exploring BDSM play. Very few people have the space for such a room so don’t expect to always have a dungeon. You may notice that the heat is turned up, or there might be candles and music. These are personal preferences so negotiate them beforehand if you have aversion to any scents or sounds.

In the majority of scenes, there will be an indicator that play is about to begin. It could be a shift in the way your partner acts or they will instruct you to kneel, put on a collar and cuffs or that you undress. The start of a scene is very personal, but these few are common requests just before a scene starts.

During The Scene

The scene is about connecting with your partner and having fun. Sometimes it’s about sexual pleasure too. Try not to treat the exchange as something foreign or detached. A play session is possibly one of the most intimate moments in your relationship. Enjoy every moment you can.

Abandon thoughts of anything outside of the room. You are in your own special world now where all that matters is the experience. Worry and focus elsewhere can ruin the scene for you and your partner. If you can’t detach then perhaps you should postpone the scene.

Some Dominants like verbal commands and noise, others prefer silent obedience. If you don’t already know what’s expected, ask or lead by example. Often a quiet Dom wants a quiet sub (but not always).

Be open about discomfort that isn’t a part of the scene. Bondage will always have a bit of discomfort, that’s what it’s there for, but if you experience severe numbness or pain then speak up about it. If an instrument you are trying out doesn’t feel right or hurts too much, say something. There are ways to keep playing and still communicate. Use your safe word if you have to. Your first scene is not a time to push those limits or to see how far you can go once you’ve reached an intense level. Leave that for another day.

A safeword is not a disappointment and does not mean failure. Don’t treat it that way. It’s just a pressure gauge. When you’ve had enough you need to stop. It’s alright to stop before they mean to.

Sex can happen during a scene if you both have agreed to it. A lot of

Author Since: Jul 26, 2018

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