Never Have I Ever: Gone Swinging


Did you ever play “Never Have I Ever” in college? Here are the rules: Everyone puts up ten fingers, and you go around in a circle and one by one share something that you’ve never done (and as human nature goes, the experiences shared are usually sexual). If you’ve done it, you have to put one finger down, and of course, drink. The first person to put all 10 fingers down loses or wins, depending on how you look at it.

One day we all have to become grown-ups, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop playing Never Have I Ever, or better yet — checking things off your bucket list. AskMen is still playing, and the rules are simple: In each edition of this column, we speak to a couple about something they’ve always wanted to try in bed. They tell us about the fantasy, and why it turns them on. Then, they actually do it, and we get the lowdown on how the experience matched the fantasy.

Caroline enjoys a successful career in New York City’s music industry, but up until recently, there was one unaccomplished mission in her life, and that was swinging. What is swinging exactly? It’s a type of group sex, but the term “group sex” is like candy: it’s an umbrella term for all sorts of flavors. An orgy is group sex with many people of any gender involved. A gang bang typically refers to one woman having sex with more than two men. We all know what a threesome is, and swinging is when two couples meet, swap partners, and then usually finish off the night by having sex with one another. If that sounds hot to you, you’re not alone.

RELATED: sex/sex_tips/everything-you-need-to-know-about-swinging.html” target=”_blank”>Everything You Need To Know About Swinging

Caroline is polyamorous, meaning that within her romantic partnerships, she both dates and sleeps with more than one person. However, despite her open-minded relationship format, and living in an open-minded city riddled with sex clubs, it took her a while to fulfill her swinging fantasy. That is, until she began dating her current primary partner, and decided to casually bring it up on a Netflix and Chill-themed Valentine’s Day. Her partner agreed, and they began investigating the New York City swinging scene and creating swinger profiles on dating apps. They successfully met up with and slept with another couple on Feeld, formerly known as 3nder, a hook-up app designed to help facilitate group sex (and apparently it works). Since then, Caroline and her partner have enjoyed many more swinging nights. But wait, there’s more: Her first swinging experience was also the first time she hooked up with another woman. Did she get jealous seeing her partner have sex with someone else in front of her, or was it just hot as hell? Keep reading to find out.

AskMen: Will you tell me about your fantasy you had been wanting to try? What was it, and what about it appealed to you?
I’ve been an exhibitionist and a voyeur as far back as I can remember, so watching and being watched has always appealed to me on an intellectual level. I’d wanted to try group sex for a long time because it appeals to both those things; plus being overstimulated, given tons of attention, and having a multitude of fun bodies and distractions seemed like the holy grail of fucking.

What kept you (until now) from trying it?
I hadn’t had the right partner(s) who would be willing to experiment in that way. I’m in a poly relationship where we date and sleep with other people separately, so it seemed like a natural progression to try dating other people together. My partner is much more willing and curious to try new things and I feel more comfortable and supported because of it.

You mentioned that you and your partner swing — how do you meet the other couples?
Primarily Feeld, and a few from Tinder and OkCupid. I love online dating for all relationship structures because it allows me to get a sense for people’s personalities and values before meeting up. One couple we date is an ex of mine who was into cuckolding. I thought his girlfriend was cute, so I suggested we all go out and I’m glad my gut instinct was right because it’s some of the most fun sex I’ve ever had. We’ve never picked up another couple at a bar, but that is definitely a goal.

What do you think it is about your current partnership that led you two to try it? Was it trust, love, and communication — all that one would want in a relationship?
All of those things! Feeling supported and loved creates space for experimentation. It’s easier for me to be vulnerable when all those cards are in my deck. Since my partner doesn’t experience jealousy, he encourages me to be sexually free at every opportunity, and this includes exploring my queerness much more.

What sort of talks did you guys have before deciding to try it?
It was pretty cute. On Valentine’s Day this year we got really stoned and were having a “Netflix and chill” kind of night, and I point blank was like, “How would you feel about having group sex?” There was a lot of giggling, and downloading of Feeld, and talking about different scenarios that would be hot vs tolerable, and downright bad. We were super nervous to go on our first date from Feel’d back in February but I’m so glad we did; it was an awesome experience.

Will you tell me about swinging? What was it like the first time you played with another couple?

The thing that’s really special about swinging/swapping is experiencing the love and chemistry between others and sharing ours with others in return. It’s super hot to hook up with someone else, get them off, then finish with your (fluid bonded) partner. Just an endless sea of intimacy.

Did you feel any jealousy watching your partner sleep with someone else in front of you, or was it all hot hot hot?
All hot, no jealousy. There’s more anticipation building when more people are involved I think, so after my partner and I have fucked everyone else in the room and we get each other last, there’s this really intense build up.

And of course, I must ask, how was hooking up with another woman for the first time?
Women are amazing! I wish I hadn’t waited so long. Really tender and intuitive and soft and fun and bouncy, like meeeee.

Common Injuries That Can Occur During Sex

Sex is fun, making love is romantic, and of course, a good fucking is hot. While these are all common verbs to describe sex, what are words we often do not associate with intercourse? How about injuries, hospitalization, and maybe even a broken dick (yes, I know that is two words but how often does one get to say broken dick!)

While many of us have experienced painful or uncomfortable sex, it would blow your mind to know how many people seek medical attention for their bedroom dilemmas. Why are so many people getting banged up while they get banged out you ask? Well for starters, an overabundance of excitement and of course the kinky/dangerous fetish gone wrong but more boringly because some people are just idiots, out of shape, and clumsy. Let’s take a look at a few that take the cake, shall we!

Cat Attacks

Common Injuries That Can Occur During Sex

Image via BecauseImaCat

I never was a cat person and now after reading of few of these sexual cat attacks, I see no chance of me liking the pussies in the near to ever future. It seems like feline ambushes are not uncommon in the bedroom but more surprisingly is that they know just where to attack, the genitals. I read case after case of men’s balls being clawed at by angry kitties in attempt to protect their owners.

Pulled Muscles

Common Injuries That Can Occur During Sex

Image via Youtube

Nothing like a strained neck from giving head while in a plank-inspired 69 position, what that never happened to you? Thanks to body-numbing endorphins pumping through our veins during sex, we often think our ligaments are much more flexible than they really are. Wrapping your legs around your head may seem like a good idea tonight, but don’t be surprised if you need to sit on a blowup donut tomorrow.

Vaginal Tears and Bruises

Common Injuries That Can Occur During Sex

Image via Bustle

Lubrication is all you need to prevent this mishap but I think all women are guilty of taking it deep while being under-moistened. The thing about vaginal tears is if left untreated they can lead to nasty infections. Let us also remember to never allow any foreign sharp objects to enter our hoo-haa as well as to not get banged by too many dicks at once. True story, one woman was fucked so hard and by so many that she actually bruised and damaged her ovaries. YIKES!

Rug Burns

Common Injuries That Can Occur During Sex

Image via Reprn

If you see an adult with 2 gnarly knee burns assume she was either partaking in an intense game of tag on the playground or giving a very intense blowjob across a wool carpet. Either way, “Get off your knees, ho!”

Broken Penis

Common Injuries That Can Occur During Sex

Image via Cosmopolitan

Technically, a man cannot break his penis since there are no bones, but he can certainly bust, tear, or pop the blood vessels inside. How does one fracture their weiner you ask? When a boner is forcefully bent, that’s how. Looking for some examples? An older British man was peacefully beating his meat when his mother decided to barge in without knocking. As he rolled off the bed and onto the floor, he reported hearing a loud snapping noise, the snapping of his dick in half. Another man was enjoying the ride of his life given by his girlfriend when she flipped backwards, off his dick and the bed, bending and fracturing his penis on the way out!

Lost Condoms

Common Injuries That Can Occur During Sex

Image via Leganerd

In a vagina or in an ass, condoms are widely reported of getting lost. However, there is one misplaced condom story I still can’t get over. After 6 months of dealing with a persistent cough, a woman finally sought medical attention to uncover the mystery bug. What did the doctors find? A condom lodged in her esophagus. That’s right folks, this woman accidentally inhaled a condom while giving fellatio and had no idea for almost half a year. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this bitch was smoking crack in order not to notice that shit go down.

Leo Sex Astrology

Constellations fill the night sky, and many believe that these stars impact our personalities and the courses that our lives take. While the scientific validity of astrology is still tenuous, believers closely follow what their signs have to say about their futures. Each astrological sign falls under one of the four elements essential to life: fire, earth, air, and water. Leos, born between July 23 and August 22, are fire signs, and are incredibly passionate. A Leo’s sex astrology is largely determined by their extroverted and extremely confident nature.

Leo Sex Astrology

Artwork by Josephine Wall

The Man

He is very attractive to women—and knows it. When he walks into a room, women are immediately aware of him while men look at him with admiration. Although he can be creative, it is usually not in a deep or meaningful way. He is a showman—a producer who always seeks the flashy, superficial effect. He is often careless, but also very good at covering up. Sometimes he will disguise hasty and impulsive work with the frills and decorative touches at which he excels. If he can’t do that, then he will excuse himself by saying that he has no patience with details, or that such chores belong to lesser people. Somehow he’ll manage to get over the idea that you have failed him. He admires beautiful women but does not like them to talk loudly or dress garishly. As his consort, a woman must always behave properly. After all, he is the one who must get the attention! Leo likes to laugh. He is definitely an extrovert—expansive, generous, and outgoing. He is not a big-mouth or a phony, but he can be a bully. He loves luxury, and the best of everything is none too good for him. You can never go wrong by flattering him, as nothing you say is likely to surpass his high opinion of himself. But this is his Achilles heel, for a silver tongue can influence his decisions. He is easily wheedled into a loan, a raise, a favor, or even a marriage. If you have a lover or husband born under this sign, beware of making him jealous.

His Sexual Technique

He needs sexual satisfaction as much as he needs food and water. Each time he takes a woman to bed he expects it to be a glorious, unforgettable experience—but that sometimes defeats his own purpose. His partner gets the idea that he’s out to win the sexual Olympics and begins to doubt if she can make the team. It doesn’t help matters that he spends so little time on foreplay. Leo is interested in nothing but his own sexual needs. Afterwards, he expects a woman to congratulate him on his technique. For him, this is the pleasant “afterglow” of any sexual encounter. In bed he is turned on by a woman in a helpless position. A favorite is to have the girl kneeling beside the bed, supporting her upper body on it, while he kneels behind her and enters her. Grasping her hips slowly he stands up. This way she uses only her vaginal muscles while he controls the other movements—including the turning and rolling of her hips. Oral sex is only acceptable if he is on the receiving end. For him, fellatio combines not only sexual pleasure but an attitude of adoration that preens his masculine vanity. Cunnilingus, however, is definitely not in his line. Neither are the kinkier variations. He prefers the standard forms of sexual intercourse. The missionary position is fine, and for variation he will simply turn around on the bed and plant his feet on the headboard to propel himself with more vigor. He wants a woman to show how much she’s enjoying it. When she is moaning out of control or screaming with delight, she is telling him that he is still master of his mate.

Leo Sex Astrology

His Sexual Hangups

His natural ability as a lover can flow into the wrong channels if a woman fails to play up to his enormous ego. He then turns to more offbeat kinds of self-glorification. A favorite method is to dress up his genitals. The girlfriend of a Leo once told me that he liked to wear French ticklers and soft plastic rings that had oddly-shaped extensions like spider legs. Knowing what prompted his wearing these adornments, I advised her to flatter him and play up to him more in the bedroom. When she did, his interest in the art of genital decoration disappeared. Like any Leo, he only wanted to be kingly and admired. If he has to go too long without the sexual admiration so necessary to him, Leo becomes preoccupied with the problem. He can’t think of anything else. He will ignore friends, family, and business and will finally seek relief at the more sophisticated bordellos, where the girls know how to cater to his obsession.

The Woman

She believes she is too idealistic, and that is why she’s destined for disappointment. The truth is that she tends to love the “wrong” person or turn off “Mr. Right” by her unwise and overly demanding lovemaking. Nothing is more important to her than that men admire and desire her. Her own feelings do not always become involved. In a sense she offers sex for sale, but her payment is only the satisfaction of knowing how dearly she is prized. If she gets too comfortable in an affair, she may get lazy. She has a great talent for creating her own unhappiness. To keep herself at her best, she needs change—but because of her basically indolent nature, change is difficult. The result is often a stalemate in which she simply stays put. She likes people but is self-centered. She is domineering but dignified, vain but kind—a creature of contradictions who sees other people’s problems only in relation to herself. She will be faithful to those who love her, but if their affection falters, that is her license to prowl. She can often be found in the center of aménage à trois with two men. By playing off one against the other, she rules as Queen of the Roost. She is only happy when she is the center of attention.

Leo Sex Astrology

Image via Axis Astrology

Her Sexual Technique

Leo likes to carry on what she considers innocent flirtations—expressions of a free-floating libido. She will not pant after any man, for she is too self-content and self-satisfied to be sexually aggressive. Her aim is simply to make herself admired. In the sex act, she prefers to dominate but will usually settle for an equal partnership. In foreplay, she especially enjoys having her face, ears, and neck gently laved by her lover’s tongue. She also likes him to run his tongue up from her legs to her inner thighs. Her favorite method of having sex is to allow the man to penetrate halfway and alternate thrusts with him in a cooperating maneuver. She likes to make love with the lights on so her partner can admire her body and comment on it. A lover’s admiration is an essential part of sex for her. She always chooses her bras and panties carefully, making sure she will be at her most provocative when she undresses for him. Leo women often wear wispy cut-out bras making their nipples available for manipulation, or cut-out panties making their front and rear available. Her calm and positive approach to sex is reassuring to men who are uncertain of their potency. She is always sure that her lover will do his best—if only because he adores her so much!

Her Sexual Hangups

Because Leo resents having to live in a man’s world, she often assumes his role in the sex act. She’s the kind who will wear a dildo and force her lover to bend over before her so she can penetrate him anally. She may even insist that he kiss and lick her shoes, her gloved hands, or her leather-bound breasts. Leo enjoys the flicking of a tongue in her vagina and wants the tempo and pressure to increase until she reaches orgasm. While some lovers prefer to alternate tongue with finger manipulation, the woman born under this sign wants the tongue only.

I have heard of instances in which a Leo woman insisted that her lover wear rubber diapers so that she could assume the dominant role and discipline him.

Leo women are attracted to very young boys, for they are more inclined to offer the blind, unquestioning adoration that she desires. In return, she will teach them about sex, and virtually make them prisoners of love.

Leo Sex Astrology

Image via Wear and Cheer

Leo’s Erogenous Zone

The back. In the bath, try rubbing Leo with a coarse sponge until the skin turns rosy. Work gently down along the spine to the base, then on the way up linger a little in the small of the back. Leo will be purring—and probably invite you into the tub! With male Leo, try raking fingernails lightly over his back during lovemaking. You’ll excite him to greater effort and a more masterful performance. Turn on a female Leo by running the fringes of a shawl (cashmere is best) from the shoulder to the small of her back. Follow this treatment with a soft-bristle brush, such as the type barbers use to apply talcum powder. Go over the same area, lingering a little longer on that sensitive small of the back. She’ll be a passionate lioness. Useful hint: during preliminaries with a Leo woman, look for a sign of sexual arousal in a skin flush that begins at the stomach area and slowly spreads to her breasts, throat, and neck. The intensity of the flush will be in direct proportion to the amount of stimulation. When she’s the right shade, she’s yours!

The Approach to Leo

Leo appreciates the arts, theater, and literature, and he or she likes to be where the excitement is. So don’t pass up the opening of an art gallery, a movie or play premiere, or a fashionable cocktail party. Never forget that Leos need to be in the spotlight and recognized as unique or superior. Give them every possible chance to shine. It doesn’t have to cost a lot. Just visiting friends who will appreciate and praise your Leo does the trick. Flattery is a must, and lots of it. Leo has an insatiable appetite for applause. Don’t show up at her door with a beat-up Volkswagen. She prefers flashy cars. In fact, she has a weakness for luxury and ostentatious display, as well as a deep down, unspoken conviction that she belongs in high society. When the Big Moment arrives, let it be in a regal bedroom. If your digs don’t measure up, take the best room at the best hotel—the more posh the better! Leo needs the right setting to perform, so provide it. Don’t be penny-wise and lady-foolish.

How to Break Off the Affair

If you’ve read carefully until now, you probably know how to turn off a Leo, but here’s a refresher: attack their sexual prowess. Imply that it’s all been routine. Forget their birthday, the anniversary of the day you met, or the first time you went to bed together. Don’t tell them they’re wonderful and desirable. Never dress properly. Lounge around in your oldest, dirtiest, and shabbiest attire—and don’t change when you go out. If you attend a movie, make it the local third-run and choose the sleaziest sex film. Exclaim over the glamour and excitement of the lovemaking in the film, implying that Leo could learn a good deal. Always let him or her know that your career, your social life, and your sexual satisfaction comes first. Flirt. Leo will be gone, to play King or Queen in some other jungle.

Leo Sex Astrology

Image via KnowledgeHi

Bedmates

Leo and Aries: Both have warm, passionate natures and see eye-to-eye on many things. They love people, parties, places, and possessions. An excellent match.

Leo and Taurus: Extravagant Leo finds Taurus closely guarding the buck and more interested in staying home to watch TV than running around to gather new admirers. A fifty-fifty chance. 

Leo and Gemini: Clever Gemini gets along fine with bighearted, generous Leo. But Gemini has a wandering eye, and Leo does get jealous.

Leo and Cancer: Self-centered, vain Leo may not pay enough attention to sensitive Cancer, for whom affection is food and drink. Leo has to get away from the mirror for this to be a good match.

Leo and Leo: Because they are kind, giving, and gregarious, they have a varied and interesting social life. Sexually well-matched too. But one mustn’t try to dominate the other.

Leo and Virgo: Trouble in the bedroom. Virgo is more interested in a secure future than a roll in the hay. And Virgos don’t like being dominated.

Leo and Libra: Both are interested in the easygoing life, and they have the same outlook on spending money. Sexually, not a bad match, although Leo’s approach is more physical.

Leo and Scorpio: These two make fireworks in the bedroom, but each one wants to be the dominant partner. Temperaments clash, and Leo looks for admirers elsewhere while Scorpio seethes and plots revenge.

Leo and Sagittarius: Both signs have a wonderful sense of adventure, the same outlook on money, and are perfect sexual mates. A great match.

Leo and Capricorn: Capricorn, one of the most practical signs, may worry about Leo’s spending. Physically, they make it together, so shacking up may be a better bet than marriage.

Leo and Aquarius: Aquarius’s many hobbies and interests leave Leo feeling neglected. Aquarius likes people who have a purpose while Leo just likes people. Sexually compatible.

Leo and Pisces: Outgoing Leo rubs shy and introverted Pisces the wrong way. Both need and want praise, and both are more prone to receive than to give. Slim chances.

Artwork by Josephine Wall

Image via Axis Astrology

Image via Wear and Cheer

Image via KnowledgeHi

Sustain Natural's Meika Hollender

Meika Hollender and her father Jeffrey Hollender co-founded the up-and-coming revolutionary all natural condom company Sustain Natural. Featuring environmentally friendly, clean, fair-trade, and vegan products, Sustain promotes wellness for our own bodies while promoting wellness for our planet. But Sustain produces more than just condoms; It sees sexual wellness as merely the beginning of a long-needed (and often ignored) conversation. Sustain creates a forum where men, women, and everyone in between can be passionate about their rights, lives, and world.

Meika Hollender is quickly becoming the voice of advocacy and change for a generation that is committed to embracing it. She attended the United States of Women summit held at the White House, which celebrates and supports women’s progression in gender equality. Meika is all about girl power, controlling your health, and her new campaign #GetOnTop. In an exclusive interview with Filthy, Meika gives us an inside look into her ever-evolving platform.

Sustain Natural's Meika Hollender

Photo courtesy of Sustain Natural

Filthy: What is Sustain Natural in a few words?

Meika Hollender: Sustain Natural is the first brand of natural condoms and lubricants made by women for women.

How and why have women throughout the history of sex been labeled with negative and derogatory terms in relation to their sexual activity? How has this changed in 2016?

Gender inequality has created a history that has labeled any woman related to anything sexual as a “slut” and any man doing the same a “hero.” As we have slowly gained more equality in the boardroom and the classroom, we are also slowly moving towards a more equal balance in the bedroom. Women are no longer being taught or believe that sex before marriage is bad. We are moving into a moment when we’re talking about our needs in the bedroom and our health.

How does Sustain aim to lift the taboo on women carrying and providing condoms for their sexual encounters? Are men and women equally responsible for protection during sex?

Everyone is responsible for his or her own sexual health and wellbeing. It’s not about who should be doing what, it’s about all of us taking control of our bodies and standing up for our health. Sustain is starting a national conversation among women––and men––around women’s sexuality and sexual health in a way that embraces women as sexual beings and educates women on why taking control of their sexual health should feel empowering and not shameful.

When should sex education begin? What is the appropriate approach in talking about sex with your children––and anyone, for that matter?

In my opinion, sex education is not just one conversation; It’s about parents creating an environment where their kids feel comfortable coming to them and talking to them about anything that they’re going through. Sex education is something that needs to happen between parents and kids, among peers, and in school. It’s a collaboration of a lot of efforts. For me, the most important thing that my parents taught me was that when I was in a relationship with someone I should make sure I felt good about myself, that I felt respected.

How do safe sex and organic products intertwine through Sustain?

We wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors if we were empowering women to take control of their sexual health with products filled with nasty chemicals that aren’t good for their bodies! Sexual health is about protecting yourself from STDs and unplanned pregnancy, but also about making sure the products you’re using to do this aren’t causing your body any additional harm.

Sustain Natural's Meika Hollender

Photo courtesy of Sustain Natural

What are three essential sexual health products every woman should own? What should she not leave home without?

Never leave home without a condom! At home, make sure you have organic lubricant, your preferred method of birth control, and some post-play wipes for clean up.

Sex is the topic of conversation for Sustain. When will it become a dinner conversation for us all?

It’s already happening! I challenge all of you to talk to your friends about sex. It’s amazing how we’re all going through the same issues, challenges, and experiences. It’s great to talk about it.

What are steps we can all do to eradicate slut shaming from our culture?

We can speak up. I think too many of us stand by and don’t say anything when we hear others slut shaming women. I think it starts with all of us taking responsibility and working to eradicate these comments by staying something.

Sustain Natural's Meika Hollender

Photo courtesy of Sustain Natural

What is the #GetOnTop campaign? How did it form and how can we get involved? 

Get on Top is a campaign with 10 powerhouse women. We set out to join forces with women nationwide to change the conversation around safe sex. Launched during Women’s Health Week, this campaign inspires women to take their sexual health into their own hands and to contribute to a global conversation redefining what it means to practice safe sex. All it takes is one visit to www.LetsGetOnTop.com to make the pledge and join the movement.

What is paramount to continue making progress in reproductive healthcare?

Not defunding Planned Parenthood.

Do women approach casual sex differently than men? Should there even be a distinction in their approach?

I think they used to, but I think it’s really starting to change. Women are becoming more empowered about going after what they want and getting it—and being safe!

To the women who experience slut-shaming everyday, what advice do you have for them? 

Talk about it!

Premium Personal Lubricant by Sustain

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Photo courtesy of Sustain Natural

Photo courtesy of Sustain Natural

Photo courtesy of Sustain Natural

Lego Sex

Everything is awesome when it comes to LEGO, even sex. LEGO’s immense popularity is demonstrated by its wide usage and representation in diverse formats and cultural works. From movies to TV to sexuality, LEGO has become more than a toy. It is a symbol of change for a generation looking to define itself sexually. LEGO pieces of millions of varieties constitute a defining universal system of acceptance. More than just a metaphor for sex, LEGO is taking its place in pop culture history and the ongoing sexual revolution. Despite the numerous variations in design and purposes of individual pieces, just like human sexuality, each piece remains compatible in some way with the existing pieces.

LEGO as a Sex Metaphor

Lego Sex

Photo via flickr

Sex is sort of like like LEGOs. On the cover of the box it looks awesome, a glossy picture of a finished product. Inside the box is a lot of work. In the case of LEGOs, a child follows the directions to build the object of desire seen on the cover of the box. The amazing thing about LEGO, much like sex, is that so much of the pleasure is in following the directions and taking the time to build. And when all is said and done, when the LEGO model stands tall, children will often tear it down and look to build another model with their imagination. Society projects the picture on the box. The media amplifies it. Our culture boxes up sex in a particular way from billboards to 5″ screens. But as individuals, with unique personalities, body types, and desires, we are often disappointed by all the work we find in the box.

Good sex, like a good LEGO model, takes time, a bit of creativity, and focus. So does good sex, literally. Even then, there is no guarantee. Children go through a lot of LEGO models. It isn’t uncommon to see them mix and match models, from time to time. With age comes ability and more pieces in a box. LEGO tries to imitate what we see on movies and TV. We do the same with sex, or wish we could. In either case, imagination and creativity are what make each experience unique. The joy of LEGO and sex is found in the building.

Educational Tools

Lego Sex

Photo via BuzzFeed

In the age of all things digital, perhaps it is time to reconsider the often-rumored LEGO sex education kit. The kit could include LEGO figures assembled “pre-posed” to simulate different sexual positions. Including homosexuals, heterosexuals, and non-gender binary choices, this LEGO set would be awesome. A spokesman for LEGO explained “There are more than 900 million ways to combine six eight-stud LEGO bricks.” Every possible sexual situation imaginable can be designed, from group sex to acrobatics. For those future veterinarians, there could be a barnyard sex education set. For religious educators, there would be a clergy set, both Jewish and Catholic. Naysayers will claim that the sex educational kits will debase family values, demean women, and even promote perversion. Supporters will say so does the internet. It’s time society realized that years of allowing little kids to roll Play-Doh penises and wave them at each other has done real damage. LEGO is the only logical alternatives to the Play-Doh boobs that often become the stereotypical pair youngsters expect to see as they grow up. LEGO has always been about improving minds and morals.

LEGOs in Pop Culture

From Andy Warhol’s experimental films to underground LEGO porn films, short form media has been the darling of creatives since the invention of moving pictures. Fetish films are no exception to the rule. Fifty Shades of Grey may have inspired designer sex toys but the LEGO-inspired satire by YouTuber creative Antonio Toscano is pop culture art. In the tradition of eroticist Adrian Lyne, Toscano creates a unique sexual visual through the magic of vintage stop motion techniques. It is a frame for frame match to the fetish favorite Fifty Shades of Grey trailer starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan. With matching outfits painted on the LEGO figures, Anastasia Steele’s cleavage and Grey’s ripped six pack are perfect accents to the sexually fused LEGO short.

Legal Trouble over LEGOs

Lego Sex

Photo via flickr

The little kid inside all of us can get us fired from our jobs. Especially if you post videos featuring sexually explicit LEGO characters in place of your co-workers. Everything is not awesome when the judge rules you are not entitled to unemployment benefits. Shawn Roy was a nursing home food service employee and was initially denied unemployment benefits due to being dismissed for cause. His LEGO reenactment involved the director of the nursing home, two female coworkers, and the head of his claimant’s department. Roy is a lifelong fan of LEGO and self proclaimed LEGO videographer. He claimed it was a fictional depiction of celebrities as LEGO characters. The courts didn’t buy it and ordered Roy to take down nearly 50 videos. At an appeal on First Amendment grounds, Roy claimed, “a viewer cannot selectively view only certain portions of the videos and understand what I was attempting to create. It is far-fetched fiction at its very best.” Sexual censorship in the art world has been a fiercely debated topic, from gallery owners in Soho to LEGO Land.

LEGO and Social Media

Lego Sex

Poor Rob Mills. He never thought his LEGO sports tweet could get him in so much hot water. It isn’t as if he was making an anti gay political statement. Mill posted a photo of two lego figures, one with a Hawks jersey and the other with a Swans jersey. The Swans player was bent over, taking it from behind, where the Hawks player was strategically placed. As Mills said, “The Hawks did fuck the Swans at Saturday’s AFL Grand Final and that’s what the figurines represented, not an entrenched manifesto on gay-straight relations.” Rob Mills (Millsy) is a an Australian Idol alumnus. Fans came out in support of Millsy, some tweeted “I’m for one glad he did tweet the pic, as it was the only way I could work out who had won the game.” Millsy apologized, saying he never meant to make any statements on homosexuality and just wanted to be left alone to play with his LEGOs.

Rule 36 of the internet states “if it exists, someone has sexualized it or has a fetish for it.” LEGO is no exception. LEGO believes all of us have the right to fun, creative, and engaging play experiences. Play is essential because when we play, we learn. Learn to be acceptant and receptive to new ideas. As a provider of play experiences, LEGO attempts to ensure that its products reflect behaviors and actions that are responsible towards all peoples of different race, religion, and, of course, sex.

Photo via flickr

Photo via BuzzFeed

Photo via flickr