BDSM Life Style

But I Don't Like Pain! Learning to See the Eroticism in Pain as Pleasure

for the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2/7/15

I have heard it a thousand times, someone doesn’t like pain so they are not interested in BDSM. Sure you only got a glimpse but it was not a terrible, torturous, degrading experience. It was something nice and pleasurable with your lover. Most people don’t have a clear picture of what BDSM but it doesn’t have to be scary. It can be both loving and warm and very fulfilling for both partners.

BDSM is about, then you’re missing a huge world of pleasure that you could explore.

How can you learn to see the pleasure of pain? Well, start small for one. Like in the story above, use things that you already do during sex play and amp it up a touch. If you love having your partner nibble on your flesh, ask him to bite a little harder during heightened moments of passion. Add some ass spanking to your sex play (some guys do it by instinct). Playful spanking increases blood flow to the buttocks and genital region, which increases pleasure and sensation. Add a role-play element for extra impact. The point is to experiment and play with pain during sex play.

I suggest you take a look at the referenced links as there is a lot of really good information about sexual pain and pleasure and how they mix. Learning that some pain feels good to you can be shocking, but don’t let that get to you. However you experience your sexuality is normal. You don’t even have to call it Pain and Pleasure by Reality Sandwich

  • The Sting is the Thing: Pleasure from Pain in What Is Sexually “Normal?” Rethinking Pain and Pleasure by Psychology Today
  • The Connection Between Sexual Pain and Pleasure by Huffington Post
  • Author Since: Jul 26, 2018