What does it mean to be approval/love addicted? Below is a checklist for you to see if you are addicted to love and/or approval. Believing any of these may indicate love or approval addiction.
I believe that:
• My happiness and wellbeing are dependent upon getting love from another person.
• My adequacy, lovability, and feelings of self-worth and self-esteem come from others liking me and approving of me.
• Others disapproval or rejection mean that I’m not good enough.
• I can’t make myself happy.
• I can’t make myself as happy as someone else can.
• My best feelings come from outside myself, from how other people or a particular other person sees me and treats me.
• Others are responsible for my feelings. Therefore, if someone cares about me, he or she will never do anything that hurts or upsets me.
• I can’t be alone. I feel like I’ll die if I’m alone.
• When I’m upset, it’s someone else’s fault.
• It’s up to other people to make me feel good about myself by approving of me.
• I’m not responsible for my feelings. Other people make me feel happy, sad, angry, frustrated, shut down, guilty, shamed or depressed – and they are responsible for fixing my feelings.
• I’m not responsible for my behavior. Other people make me yell, act crazy, get sick, laugh, cry, get violent, leave, or fail.
• Others are selfish if they do what they want instead of what I want or need.
• If I’m not connected to someone, I will die.
• I can’t handle the pain of disapproval, rejection, abandonment, of being shut out – the pain of loneliness and heartbreak.
Read on to find out the underlying causes of approval and love addiction.
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