Entering the Community: Finding Other Local Kinksters Using Online Resources
Welcome to the first part in a series I hope will help you feel more comfortable entering and becoming a part of the local BDSM” will yield some results. In my area, there are pages for different groups in my state (Florida), kinky profiles on dating sites, and different blogs to visit.
“But Fetlife is filled with creepy posers sending dick pics.” You’re right, those people are there. And you’re a fully functional adult who is capable of ignoring those people. There are also groups and forums specifically for your city, town, or region. Your local BDSM Without the BS, Daddies and their Littles, you name it. Some groups aren’t secret but you’ll have to ask to join. Join them and get to know people. There are usually threads in each group to introduce yourself and share where you’re from – use that thread to find your local peeps. And remember not to be a creepy stalker. Let things happen naturally and make friends with people you genuinely like.
I’m adding this one with a disclaimer: Proceed with caution! Typically on Craigslist, people just want a quick, kinky hook-up. Or worse, they’re a predator looking for a victim. Listen to your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t go. Have a safe call set up so someone knows where you’re going, when you arrive, and when you should leave. Safety first, y’all. But sometimes, you can find a couple who wants to hang out or a group of people looking to meet someone new. Yes, it may be sexual, which is perfectly fine, if that’s what you want, too.
Whether you’re ready to hit the local munch you found on Fetlife, or you just want someone you can email or grab a cup of coffee with to chat about life, there is no better way to learn more about BDSM and kink may feel like completely foreign or new concepts, but at the end of the day, we’re all people. Go about making friends and meeting your fellow kinksters the same way you would if you were in a vanilla situation. Relax and take your time. Be yourself and don’t be creepy!
Entering the Community Series
Part 1: Finding Other Local Kinksters Using Online Resources
Part 2: Socializing with Kinksters