BDSM Life Style

Entering the Community: Who You'll Meet and What to Expect at a Munch

Welcome to part


in this week’s series all about how to

help you feel more comfortable entering and becoming a part of the local munch:

  • People who are terrified to go – afraid of being alone, ignored, or feeling like an outsider
  • People who used to feel that way until they actually attended a few munches

Everyone is nervous the first they attend their first meet-up with kinksters. I was lucky that Southern Sir was with me for my first munch. He knew most of the people, and I didn’t feel completely alone. That being said, he did make me attend my first coffee time alone, and I broke down in tears as I drove away because I was so nervous about being new.

Both times, the Saturday afternoon munch and the mid-week evening “coffee time,” I was greeted and accepted by someone who was friendly. At the munch, it was the organizer who is now a personal friend. At the coffee time, it was another submissive who remembered what it was like to be new.

I know there are some exceptions to this, but by and large, when you go to your first munch, you will be greeted by friendly people.

Who You’ll Meet at a Munch


Let me dispel the first myth about who you’ll meet.

Everyone is going to look like a completely average, completely normal human being. You won’t be able to tell most of the people apart from the vanilla patrons. If someone on staff doesn’t know to send you in a specific direction (or a back room), you might not even find them right away.

You won’t automatically be able to tell the Dominants from the submissives or switches. You won’t see a lot of obvious signs of the lifestyle. You might see submissives wearing collars. Some people are completely out. Others are not.

This is a time for a more relaxed protocol. Feel free to introduce yourself. Only a total jerk will think you shouldn’t speak to them because they’re a Dominant or their partner is a submissive.

What You Can Expect at a Munch


Don’t worry that you’re not kinky enough or involved in BDSM are completely acceptable topics.

It’s normal to be nervous. Go anyway. You never know who you’ll meet or what you’ll learn. But one thing is certain, you’ll never know until you try.

Entering the Community Series

Part 1: Finding Other Local Kinksters Using Online Resources

Part 2: Socializing with Kinksters

Part 3: Understanding and Following General Protocols in Public

Part 4: Who You’ll Meet and What to Expect at a Munch

Part 5: Who You’ll Meet and What to Expect at a

Author Since: Jul 26, 2018