My first experience with anything sex was through porn. The girls of porn taught me how sex might be for me. And so when it came time to have sex for the very first time I tried to copy them. At least their dirty talk anyway. But it was clunky and uncomfortable and odd feeling. Worse yet, I felt embarrassed by the simplest terms of anatomy like pussy and dick, breasts and ass.
So I quickly ignored my partner’s lust at hearing me try to talk dirty and resorted to moans, groans, and sighs. These utterances seemed so much safer and comfortable.
It wasn’t long however before I wanted to use words again. Here’s what I did to open my vocal sex to myself and my partner.
1. Practice during masturbation.
No matter how private your moments are during masturbation, whatever the fantasy you can vocalize to yourself. Start with whispers and the non-words that I did above. Just get comfortable hearing your voice while you pleasure yourself. After awhile, start using one-word phrases, “yes,” “God”, “fuck,”, “Oh,” and your partner’s name are common. As before whispering them first and then get a little bolder and before long you’ll be able to scream these words.
2. Write out phrases.
Yeah, this one is going to seem odd, but several of the people I talked to said that they’d be more vocal in bed if they only knew what to say. So, take some time and write out some hot phrases that you’ve thought about, but forgot in the heat of the moment. Read them aloud before bed each night until they can settle into your memory. Having these phrases on the tip of your tongue will help you vocalize them when the time comes.
3. Learn the slang.
There are so many ways to say what you are doing that there’s no doubt that you’ll find some new favorites and others that you are more comfortable with. The Dirty Slang Dictionary is a good place to start. If you need even more, then try DirtySlang.com or buy Sex Talk: Uncensored Exercises for Exploring What Really Turns You on.
4. Break down your barriers.
There is usually a mental barrier for your discomfort in verbalizing during sex. Identifying that block while definitely help you free yourself from the feeling of taboos and open your mind sexually to the pleasures that talking dirty can bring into the bedroom.
Start by describing what you are feeling. “Oh, that feels good!” “I’m all tingly inside!” “I’m so wet/hard!” “That tickles!”
Then say what your partner is doing to you. “Yes, kiss me!” “Lick my pussy” “Suck my dick” “Fuck me hard!”
You can move to begging and asking for what you want from sex after that. The sky is the limit and you can get into your mind and draw out that dirty slang you learned too. It will all lead to the best sex.
I hope that these few tips will begin to open your mind and eventually your mouth to some of the hottest sex you can have when you just verbalize.