BDSM Life Style

Psychological Aspects of Consensual Rape in BDSM Scenarios

This post is written by Rick’s Fucktoy. It was first posted on Sensual Service, which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide.

“Consensual rape.” Quite an oxymoron, I suppose. Rape, by definition, is sexual intercourse in which one party is unwilling and unwanting of the attention and act. A consensual act is something quite contrary to that initial concept of rape. A consensual act is one in which all parties are in agreement as to the parameters, activities, and boundaries of said act. How then, does the term “consensual rape” have any validity at all?

From my understanding, consensual rape can be looked at as one of two scenarios. The first of these scenarios is the fantasy rape scene, in which two partners have discussed the fantasy and how it is to be played out. They have determined who will be a party to the fantasy and what limits will be set for the duration of the scene. There is a safe word or phrase that can be used at any time to halt all activities should one or the other of the parties need to discontinue the happenings.

The second possible definition of consensual rape is “built into” a Master/slave relationship. This case may be such that the slave is not particularly excited about a sexual activity at that given time, but the Master is able to force His will upon the girl, by the nature of their relationship. This is consensual from the standpoint that the slave would have agreed to the terms of the relationship at the beginning of negotiations. It would be my hope that this scenario would have been discussed and clearly stated where each party stands on this issue before the relationship would continue in a M/s fashion. For Master and myself, I have agreed and signed a contract stating that my body is available for His use at any time. He owns my body, and therefore does not need my permission to utilize that which He owns. However, by the definition of rape, if one party has not given consent to the act, it is rape. I may not be in the mood. I may cry and beg and scream for Him to not use me. However, it is His decision to do so or not. My consent was given when I signed our contract, no matter my feelings at any given point in time.

I want to look at each of these situations separately to determine why it is that women are attracted to this style of play with their partners. I am not able to speak from experience as the Dominant male perspective, so I can only hazard a few guesses as to why they are drawn to this play as well.

Looking through erotic fiction compilations, it is easy to see that many people find themselves lost in the fantasy of being raped or in forcing their attentions upon some hapless victim. These fantasies range from being forced by a Man that she’s always known but never been brave enough to open herself up to in that manner to being dragged, kicking and screaming from a deserted parking lot to be brutalized in an alleyway. Perhaps she has been abducted and is being trained as a sex slave by some unknown entity, being made to perform and forced to enjoy the sensations being thrust (no pun intended) upon her. On the reverse side, perhaps He has always lusted after the office tease, and in His fantasies, He is able to put her in her place and teach her better manners. They range from gangbangs to lesbian encounters to any number of other activities that one might be able to imagine.

Rape is not a crime of sexual passion gone wrong. Rape is a crime of power, and this is evident in most fantasies as well. Many fantasies of this nature include forced stimulation and forced orgasm — a definitive enjoyment on the part of the helpless victim. Her body moving against the constraints of her mind to enjoy the myriad of sensations and lack of control so much that she is able to be worked to release despite her mind’s protests. For the Man involved, I can only assume that this forced release is an indication of His power and control over His subject. It shows that His victim is completely possessed by Him and cannot control even the most base of reactions.

It has been my experience that many women desire to be conquered. They want a Man who is strong enough to take charge and take control of the situations and even of themselves. Within the confines of a rape scene, this desire is played to the hilt. The Man forces the woman to comply with His wishes and makes her enjoy the battle and subsequent surrender.

Often times, during a fantasy rape, a woman will be forced to perform acts that she would otherwise never consider doing. The act of being compelled to do something against her wishes takes the responsibility from her and puts it squarely on the shoulders of the Man who is compelling her. It is a way for women to explore their “inner whore” without the need to accept the whorish aspect that they keep hidden. This could include being made to perform for Him, masturbating herself into an orgasmic state while He watches. It could include any act that is considered degrading or humiliating … anal sex, oral sex, water sports, S&M … any activity that is “taboo” to her normal thought patterns. This allows them freedom from guilt to enjoy themselves and their partner more fully. After all, they can’t help what they are forced to do.

The idea of a fantasy rape scene also brings out the concept of objectification of the woman. She moves out of the realm of being a “person” and into the realm of being a “thing.” She is now forced to be a sexual plaything of the dominant player in the scene, unable to object to His wishes, forced to comply, and even forced to enjoy. As an object rather than a person, there is less feeling of shame or guilt for her enjoyment of what she is forced to do. You can’t, after all, blame the rabbits for all of the baby bunnies. They’re rabbits and they fuck like rabbits. It’s what they do. She is no longer a person in the context of the scene. She is a fucktoy, doing what a fucktoy is supposed to do.

Violence and fear are also linked to sexual arousal, and both components are part of a well-done fantasy rape. Controlled violence, or at the very least, the threat of violence, connect in many women’s brains to their sexuality. That is not to say that all women are pain sluts and enjoy the thought of being hurt. That is very far from accurate. But I do believe that within the bounds of this discussion, women equate violence with strength and with the ability to bend her to His will, relating back to my theory that women enjoy being conquered. Some women enjoy the struggle and the fight. They enjoy being slapped around and beaten, bruised and used hard. This type of scene being played out is merely a vehicle for this interaction, and it allows for an easier understood brutality. The more force that she tries to use to stop Him, the greater the force He has to use in order to prevail against her. It is easier to comprehend pain being dealt in this matter and for this end than pain for the sake of pain, especially to someone who does not, by their nature, enjoy pain play. The pain inherent in any type of S&M activity is just on the other side of arousal and pleasure. The line between pain and pleasure is often blurred, and is, at all times, very thin and difficult to see.

However, not all rape fantasies are violent. Some women prefer a softer seduction, the glint of the light off a knife’s blade, and a whispered order to do what she’s told. Some enjoy the idea of being woken up, His body pressed against hers, her reactions natural and instinctive as she’s brought into the waking world. Every woman is different in what she wants and needs from this type of play, but the end result is very much that she is wanting to be controlled and used and have no say in the matter.

From the female submissive mindset, there are many enjoyable factors to the idea of a fantasy rape scene. It is a dangerous ride performed with the utmost of control. The danger is perceived, but never truly a concern. There is a great deal of trust and open communication that must go into negotiation for a scene in this emotional avenue and of such magnitude, as there are many unexpected issues that can arise, but that may be a topic for a later point in time. For now, I want to focus on the positive reasonings behind this occurrence.

At the beginning of this essay, I said there were two primary types of consensual rape. We’ve discussed the more prevalent of the two, now I would like to turn our attention to the one that is perhaps the more difficult to comprehend.

It is first necessary to understand the very basics of a Master/slave relationship. Definitions vary from one person to another, so I’m going to clarify the definition that I am using for the purposes of this discussion. This is a power exchange relationship in which one person (the slave) has given over complete control to the other (the Master). There has been a series of negotiations to this point, as well as trust building and a mutual desire for the power to be exchanged at such a significant level. A contract has been discussed and signed, showing the understanding of the level of commitment and control that has been given and received. For all intents and purposes, the slave is the property of the Master. As her Owner, He is able to do with her as He wishes, and she has consented to this agreement by signing the contract that allows Him to do so.

Consensual rape within this context is a bit harder to define. The Owner (I prefer the term Owner over Master for generalized discussion) has His slave available to Him at all times, regardless of her desire to play or not. If she has had a long day at work and comes home tired to fix dinner and clean up, and He wants a blow job … it sucks to be her because she’s going to be sucking Him. She has given up her ability to say no. She has not given up the right to cry or beg or plead with Him, but ultimately, He has the ability to override any plea that she may make. That can be termed as consensual rape.

Some folks may be asking why anyone would agree to this type of interaction and relationship. How could any woman want to be put into that position of having to behave and act in such a manner, even when she is crying to not have to? There are several attractions to this relationship, that may not be easily spotted from an external viewpoint.

The control. The desire. The security. The instincts. The rush. The love. The orgasms. So many possibilities for each woman. I’m going to answer only for myself and why I am drawn to this type of play.

I love the feeling of being owned and possessed and consumed, and Master pounds (literally and figuratively) each of those into me when I’m tired, or cranky, or emotional and feel like I just can’t continue on. I can continue because He tells me that I can. I can continue because it pleases Him to use me. I can continue because even at the height of my emotional roller coaster, He brings my body to orgasm because it is His to do with as He wishes. There is a security in knowing that He can and will use me however and whenever He chooses. Every time He “forces” Himself on me, He instills His desire for me, His craving of my submission, just as I crave His control. As we travel together down this path, it is becoming instinctual to bend to His will. To do as I’m told, even when it’s hard and I don’t want to. His control of my body and mind, my responses and even my desires … all wrap up together when He takes me in that manner. I may not always be a willing participant, to begin with, but I know that before it’s said and done, I may still be begging, but it won’t be for Him to stop this time.

Author Since: Jul 26, 2018

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